Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument

In an ideal world none of us would ever have to deal with any conflict, however I am sure that you aren’t naïve enough to think that is possible.  Whether it is discussing where to go for dinner, what movie to watch or something at work, conflict at some point is inevitable.  The question is, how do you respond to it? 

There is a wonderful tool which can help shed some light on your normal response to conflict – the Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument.  By answering a series of questions you can discover if you have a preferred mode of response, or if there are some modes which you are likely to use versus others which you are not.  There are five modes identified by the instrument.  Each is useful in some situations therefore there is no right or wrong answer.  By understanding the different modes and your skill at each, you can make a decision how best to respond to conflict depending on the particular situation.

In conflict we can describe someone’s behaviour by two metrics; assertiveness (how far will they go to satisfy their own concern) and cooperativeness (how far will they go to satisfy the other person’s concern).  These metrics can be used to define five methods of dealing with conflict: Competing, Collaborating, Compromising, Avoiding and Accommodating as seen below. 

You might think that collaborating and compromising may be the best responses to conflict, however depending on the situation they may not be.  Do you have any power over the situation or is it something you feel incredibly strong about?  Competing may be better for you.  Can you postpone the conflict to a better time or side step it completely?  Avoidance could be the way forward.  Are you feeling generous or need to obey an order?  Accommodating while being somewhat self-sacrificial may be the best thing.

Learning to work peacefully with colleagues is a wonderful skill in any career therefore be proactive and learn more about conflict resolution before it becomes a necessity.  One thing to consider is that your ability to handle conflict is likely to come up during interviews, potential questions are below: 

·         How do you deal with conflict?

·         Tell me about a time when you had an issue with a co-worker

·         Tell me about a time when you disagreed with your boss

·         How do you deal with differences of opinion when working on a team?

Let’s get prepared so that you are ready to respond in the most appropriate way the next time conflict arises.  Contact me to discuss the assessment and we can discover your conflict modes together.