Overcoming a Fear of Public Speaking
I can name the specific moment I became scared of public speaking. All throughout high school I participated in class with no issues. The first couple of years through my undergraduate degree I was still fine. Then I came to the U.S. to perform a year of research as part of my degree (it was called a sandwich degree where for one year everyone performs research in some form – it is a great way to demonstrate experience before you have even graduated). I performed cancer research for the first time and began my relationship using radioactivity for experiments, something I did for many years. However, it also led to giving a short presentation at a state wide cancer conference.
At the beginning of my talk (which I had practiced a lot) I mentioned that I was a third-year undergraduate visiting from the U.K. hoping that the audience would understand that I probably wouldn’t be able to answer many questions. The talk itself went well but then someone in the audience asked me questions, becoming more aggressive as they progressed. Ultimately the postdoc who was responsible for my training stood up and answered them. Instead of feeling happy with my performance and relieved it was over, I felt embarrassed and humiliated. I later discovered that the individual had a grudge with the PI I was working for. But instead of taking it out on him he took it out on me! He did major harm that day as I developed a fear of public speaking, my boss however wasn’t even there so if his aim was to in some way to affect him, he failed.
During my graduate studies my fear did not abate. I practiced my talks for hours before giving them but I still felt the herd of elephants in my stomach beforehand. In my final year I went to presentation skills class which helped. For the first few sessions we gave very short talks on a topic we were comfortable with (hobbies and non-work related things). They were videotaped and we then watched them back as a class seeing what reoccurring movements we made, or if we had specific words we repeated. It became obvious that while I was incredibly nervous in front of everyone (just being up there, not about the topic I was talking on) that the audience couldn’t tell. I also touched my hair a ridiculous amount, either tossing my head like a show pony or running my hands through it. For my next round of talks I tied it back which resolved that issue, something I continued to do for years while I worked on my public speaking.
Obviously presenting is something everyone does in science, either as posters or presentations. I became slightly more comfortable in front of an audience but would still get far more nervous than my peers (or at least it appeared that way!). By joining the National Postdoctoral Association (NPA) Outreach Committee, I spoke every month in a group through telephone conferences. Not being able to see the individuals for some reason made it easier for me to participate in the discussion and share my ideas and opinions. When I became a member of the Board of Director’s the number of teleconferences increased and again so did my comfort level. By the time we moved to videoconferencing I was comfortable even though I could see everyone.
By this point my institution had me giving a presentation to new hires every two weeks and also meeting with a variety of visiting groups regularly. I was also leading meetings with senior individuals ensuring we remained on track and covered the agenda. Anyone who knows academics will know how challenging that can be, and therefore the courage I needed, to interject to ensure everyone was heard or that we moved on. While that isn’t giving a presentation, it is still speaking to a highly influential group and therefore potentially nerve wracking.
Years of leading meetings once I became the Chair of the Board of Directors at the NPA, or at my institution; introducing visiting guests at lectures, providing lectures and seminars, hosting events, and helping others through their public speaking anxiety have all increased my comfort level. While I still get nervous before heading to the stage (or turning on zoom for seminars in the time of COVID!) I know that I can get through it. I may still have butterflies but I know it won’t be obvious. I may not like the first few minutes but eventually once I have relaxed I generally enjoy myself. Something I could not have predicted twenty years ago after the jerks questioning. (Note – do not be like him. You may have a point to prove, or be having a bad day, but don’t take it out on others. You don’t know the long-lasting harm you can do).
What can you do to help overcome your fear? Practice, practice, practice! By joining public speaking groups like Toastmasters ( https://www.toastmasters.org/ ) you can see improvements much faster than I did. There is very likely a local club which you can join and learn through public speaking in a friendly and supportive environment. Practice does help you overcome this particular fear. If I can do it, so can you!
